By the power invested into me as a random dude with my name on the thing, I hereby declare that I fact founded the UDS, it was all me and Chris is my sock puppet, any 'false news' that disagrees with this fact will be heard and listened to (followed by UDS order 66). So, all hail me, you are being rescued - Do not resist!
Signed,
The Right Honourable
Gentleman, Sir Zion
Samuel Wanley Sawbridge
Bourke Drax Imperium the VII,
Supreme Lord of the Faeguil,
Commander of the Gallant
Order of The Arcanum,
Knight of the Imperial Court,
and defender of Durbar.